Grand Chaorganisateur de tournées
-= Naheulband =-
Inscription le 04-08-02
Messages : 705
 Age : 54 ans
Lieu de résidence : Walnut Grow
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[pourrissage de forum] la guerre en Irak... a été posté le : 24/02/03 15:53
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... vu par l'un des Monty python, bien sur, vous alliez pas croire que j'allais être VRAIMENT sérieux.
Réservez au anglophobe malheureusement, à moins que quelqu'un ne se sente le courage de la traduire :
Terry Jones (Monty Python)
Sunday January 26, 2003
The Observer
I'm really excited by George Bush's latest reason for bombing Iraq: he's
running out of patience. And so am I!
For some time now I've been really *******ed off with Mr Johnson, who lives
a couple of doors down the street. Well, him and Mr Patel, who runs the
health food shop. They both give me queer looks, and I'm sure Mr Johnson
is planning something nasty for me, but so far I haven't been able to
discover what. I've been round to his place a few times to see what he's
up to, but he's got everything well hidden. That's how devious he is.
As for Mr Patel, don't ask me how I know, I just know - from very good
sources - that he is, in reality, a Mass Murderer. I have leafleted the
street telling them that if we don't act first, he'll pick us off one by
one.
Some of my neighbours say, if I've got proof, why don't I go to the
police? But that's simply ridiculous. The police will say that they need
evidence of a crime with which to charge my neighbours.
They'll come up with endless red tape and quibbling about the rights and
wrongs of a pre-emptive strike and all the while Mr Johnson will be
finalising his plans to do terrible things to me, while Mr Patel will be
secretly murdering people. Since I'm the only one in the street with a
decent range of automatic firearms, I reckon it's up to me to keep the
peace. But until recently that's been a little difficult. Now, however,
George W. Bush has made it clear that all I need to do is run out of
patience, and then I can wade in and do whatever I want!
And let's face it, Mr Bush's carefully thought-out policy towards Iraq
is the only way to bring about international peace and security. The one
certain way to stop Muslim fundamentalist suicide bombers targeting the
US or the UK is to bomb a few Muslim countries that have never
threatened us.
That's why I want to blow up Mr Johnson's garage and kill his wife and
children. Strike first! That'll teach him a lesson. Then he'll leave us
in peace and stop peering at me in that totally unacceptable way.
Mr Bush makes it clear that all he needs to know before bombing Iraq is
that Saddam is a really nasty man and that he has weapons of mass
destruction - even if no one can find them. I'm certain I've just as
much justification for killing Mr Johnson's wife and children as Mr Bush
has for bombing Iraq.
Mr Bush's long-term aim is to make the world a safer place by
eliminating 'rogue states' and 'terrorism'. It's such a clever long-term
aim because how can you ever know when you've achieved it? How will Mr
Bush know when he's wiped out all terrorists? When every single
terrorist is dead? But then a terrorist is only a terrorist once he's
committed an act of terror. What about would-be terrorists? These are
the ones you really want to eliminate, since most of the known
terrorists, being suicide bombers, have already eliminated themselves.
Perhaps Mr Bush needs to wipe out everyone who could possibly be a
future terrorist? Maybe he can't be sure he's achieved his objective
until every Muslim fundamentalist is dead? But then some moderate
Muslims might convert to fundamentalism. Maybe the only really safe
thing to do would be for Mr Bush to eliminate all Muslims?
It's the same in my street. Mr Johnson and Mr Patel are just the tip of
the iceberg. There are dozens of other people in the street who I don't
like and who - quite frankly - look at me in odd ways. No one will be
really safe until I've wiped them all out.
My wife says I might be going too far but I tell her I'm simply using
the same logic as the President of the United States. That shuts her up.
Like Mr Bush, I've run out of patience, and if that's a good enough
reason for the President, it's good enough for me. I'm going to give the
whole street two weeks - no, 10 days - to come out in the open and hand
over all aliens and interplanetary hijackers, galactic outlaws and
interstellar terrorist masterminds, and if they don't hand them over
nicely and say 'Thank you', I'm going to bomb the entire street to
kingdom come.
It's just as sane as what George W. Bush is proposing - and, in contrast
to what he's intending, my policy will destroy only one street.
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Voila, c'etait pour pourrir un peu le forum et gagner un niveau !
la voix off...la voix off? où est la voix off !
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Les Nains, à la naissance, ils sont normaux. C'est lorsqu'ils grandissent qu'ils rapetissent !
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 Cachée
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Age : 54 ans
Réponse au Sujet '[pourrissage de forum] la guerre en Irak...' a été posté le : 24/02/03 16:44
